When she attained Dhammakaya and could help her father from Hell to Heaven, she was very happy. She didn't desire anything more, because attaining Dhammakaya gave her happiness. It is the happiness that could not be found in this world. Later, Khun Yay told us of her feeling that it is the true happiness. Even when someone offered her gold as tall as her height to stop her from the meditation she was doing, she had to pass.
Khun Yay thought of doing more chores to please the house owner, so she could ask to be allowed to meditate at Wat Paknam for about a month. With this thought in mind, she worked even harder to please the house owner.
She had talked with Khun Yay Tongsuk and when the time came, she asked for permission. Khun Nai Leab agreed, as long as Khun Yay returned in a month. Khun Yay did not say anything, so the house owner thought she would return. At long last, Khun Yay Tongsuk brought her to Wat Paknam.
That night, Khun Yay dreamed she was standing on the side of a very wide river. There was a boat bringing her to the other side. There, she saw a big, beautiful Bhodi tree which offered nice shade. Once she reached the other side, she went to sit under the tree's shade. It felt very peaceful and then she awoke.
The following afternoon, a Thursday, she met with Luang Pu Wat Paknam for the first time. Luang Pu (a pronoun of the Thai senior Buddhist monk called himself and was called by others) was teaching in the Hall, which was close to the kitchen. When Khun Yay Tongsuk introduced Khun Yay to him, he looked up and when he saw Khun Yay's face, he said, "You have come so late."
Luang Pu said that because he had been waiting for the advanced meditators team. He sent her directly to the very advanced Dhammakaya meditation group. Joining this Dhammakaya meditation group during that time was not easy. There were tests from the senior meditators with questions that a normal human could not answer. All the questions were beyond the ability of human’s knowledge. Only the ones attaining Dhammakaya would be able to answer. In Khun Yay's case, she did not have to pass the test. Luang Pu just let her in.
However, she got sick in the first week after coming to Wat Paknam. While sick, the Dhamma experience was lost to her and she was left with only her desire. Even this situation couldn't shake her peaceful mind. She believed Dhammakaya was still with her, it was just her body that was weak. It left her mind unclear, unable to see Dhammakaya. During this time, however,her mind was in the peaceful place as always.
Now, her life changed, her body was weak and her Dhammakaya was altered. However, in the Wat Paknam, she received Loung Por's kindness, and her Dhammakaya was recovered. She told us later that she was confused and could feel Dhammakaya fading. Luang Pu sensed this, and he said, "Chandra, you keep your mind at the center; always keep your mind at the center." "Yes", she answered and did it. She said, "It's in my body, it is just that my body is sick and confused."
Luang Pu asked Khun Yay later, "Is your mind at a standstill?" When she was asked that, she was afraid but answered "yes" and immediately, from confusion to clarity, her mind was brightening. It was at peace and could see clearly.
Luang Pu continued, "See anything?" "I see, clearly." Khun Yay was afraid of his questions. When he walked up the stairs, the voice came from another room. The wall had a hole in it for him to order across the room. Only faces were seen through it.
Although entering the very advanced Dhammakaya meditation group was not as hard for Khun Yay as for others, living at Wat Paknam was not easy. Since Khun Yay was the newcomer, she not only had to adjust to the new place, but also to the people there. Her life was very hard. Everything given to her was used, old, and torn. She happily cleaned them and used them, thinking only of their purpose. The bed's leg was broken, and it was not usable any longer. It also stank and had mites living in it. She happily took it, thinking that she wanted to use this bed to rest. Rest would refresh her mind and then she could use that power to meditate.
She did not have any servants, money, or jewelry. She had only her positive thinking, her two hands, and her mind. She was not a carpenter, but when she had to fix the bed, she did it with perfection. She cleaned her things so they looked new. Even though the bed was cleaned, some of the mites were still living in the bed. At night, they would bite Khun Yay. Her sleep was restless all night long.
People who do not have a good night's sleep can be very irritable. If someone says or does something improper, there could be some violence. Khun Yay was different. She had a small jar, like a crystal cup, next to her bed with a white cloth to cover it. When the mites bit her, she put the mites in the jar, and covered it. In the morning, she let them go outside, and she did this until her bed was clear of the mites.
The senior meditators liked to see this. It became a club of who wanted to see the cleanliness, eventhough it was not beautiful. The cleanliness emanated peace---like the flowers in the garden, without a sign "You are welcome to look." They still drew people to get close to see and smell them.
Khun Yay's old bed was the same. It was as if the cleanliness from her mind moved to her hands, and to her bed, and then to the viewers who looked at her bed. Her bed was the center of the club for those who wanted to sweep and touch it.
The senior meditators would not let her help with the food. Because she was thin, had long hair and deep-set eyes, people seeing her thought she was sick with tuberculosis (a prevalent epidemic at that time) and were afraid of contracting it. When it was mealtime, The cook unwillingly gave Khun Yay the food. She had to experience this every day.
She taught herself as if she were both teacher and student. She was there to meditate. She left the house to study Dhammakaya meditation. Every meal was for Luang Pu Wat Paknam and everybody who willingly gave the meals to him. Luang Pu was kind enough to let her and the others eat.
It was normal for those who cook to always be very tired. They had to wake up in the morning and set everything up. They had to stand in front of the heat and divide everything up evenly. It was not her business to pay attention to the action of the cooks. Her duty was to eat to keep her healthy. When done, she would use that power to meditate and to study the advanced level of Dhammakaya meditation.
While others thought that Khun Yay was ill from tuberculosis, Khun Yay thought that others' thinking about her was good, so she could eat by herself and could have more privacy. She didn't have to deal with anybody else. While eating, she simultaneously put her mind on the peaceful spot (at the center of her body). While washing the dishes, she also meditated and brought the brightness from meditation to clean her mind.
This experience showed her desire to study Dhammakaya meditation, disregarding any obstacles.
The person, who told the story,
is Phrarajabhavanavisudh
or Ven. Dhammajayo Bhikkhu,
the president of Dhammakaya Foundation.
